(from Max Lucado) Try these seven strategies the next time you find yourself trapped in a day that holds more than you think you can bear. You'll be surprised at how freeing they are.
1. Fret Not
Anxiety will ruin your day. And it can be a real confidence-killer. Just assume that everybody likes you. It won't be such a menacing place any more.
2. Forgive Freely
Forgive easily. Don't let anybody else rob you of your joy. Forgiveness is not about saying that what a person did is okay or that they're right. It's about making a decision, a choice to let the hurt and anger go. Forgive someone and discover that the person has virtually no power to hurt you anymore. It frees you to move on and focus on what you really care about: the joy of life.
3. Fear Not
You cannot run from your fears. Fear is a joy-killer. It can make you stressed out, short-tempered, and unhappy. The opposite of fear is trust. I do better when I trust in God who is in control of my life. Place your fear in God's hands, and you will find that you have greater peace each day.
4. Live Passionately
Discover your passion by looking back over your life for those sweet-spot moments where you've had "YES!" experiences. String those together, and you will begin to see new possibilities for your life. Nothing gives the day greater joy than a good wallop of passion that comes from doing something from your soul.
5. Get Over It!
Quit looking for things to bellyache about. Face each day determined to dwell on the positives. Write a list about what you have to look forward to. Try lending an ear to someone in need. Be especially kind to people with whom you have only one encounter--a waiter, a store clerk, etc. You may have only one chance to be kind. When you start living for others, it's pretty hard not to get over whatever's bothering you.
6. Collect Your Blessings
Recognize all that you have, and finding blessings to collect will become easy. The key to a joyous day? Make gratitude your default emotion. Expect good things to happen. Seek people out who can encourage you. Over time you'll find that God's list of blessings is longer than your list of burdens.
7. Color Your World
When something goes wrong, as it inevitably will, practice the previous steps, passionately. (Forgive, don't fret or fear, count your blessings, and most of all, GET OVER IT!) It is never too late for the day to be a joyous one. The world is full of vibrant color. Don't let it lose an ounce of its luster. Assume this day is going to be good, and it will. God made it so.
Work hard, and finish the race strong!
(From Guideposts December '07)
Friday, February 29, 2008
A Day of Remembering, an Evening of Feasting
Yesterday I must have eaten at least 5,000 calories. Well every once in awhile I think it is ok to do that.
I had the follow-up mammogram yesterday morning at 8 AM. I went with no expectations; my mind was focused on the upcoming funeral services of Alan's mom. But this appt. had been on the calendar since my surgery, so I figured I should just go and get it over with. Well, on the first series, there it was again...or so I thought. "What is that?" I asked the technician. "I don't know," was her reply. "But I will take this to the radiologist right now and we'll find out." My heart sank a bit, as what I saw on the screen looked identical to what I saw back in August. A white spot, about a half -inch in diameter, was looking right at me. So I went back to the dressing room to wait. I am asking myself many questions. Is this a new one? Did they miss this one the first time? About 15 minutes later, the tech returned and apologized for what we were about to do. She took me back to the mammography room and got a special plastic object out of the cabinet. "We are going to compress the area, and take a closer look," she said, again apologizing, because she knew what this was going to do to me. The machine came down right on top of my scar, where I have just finished The Boost (radiation right on the scar) 2 days ago, and the area is red-hot. Well I will not go into detail here about it, just to say that the radiologist took a close look at the compression mammogram shots and decided there is nothing to be concerned about at this time. She made the call on my first digital mammogram in August, so I trust her. But I may have to talk to her again about this. I will be having mammograms every six months from now on to watch things. What I came away with from this experience yesterday morning is the realization that even though I want to be through with this, it is always going to be part of my life. I am in a high-percentage recovery group, but Dr. Ali's words are to be remembered also..."There are no guarantees." I remain standing in the light and hopeful.
So off to the funeral home I go. The Knepler boys are saying goodbye to their mom. I stand in the back, waiting for an opportunity to say hello to my friend Alan. We have a quick hug and exchange, then we are off to church. Here I am in the old Cadillac, bringing up the rear of a short procession for Flossie's last ride. The tears are streaming down because the pain is intense. But I pull myself together for the Mass of Resurrection. Fr. Mike Kuse does a beautiful job in these situations. It really is his gift. Too bad all the other stuff comes with being a priest. He reminds us that since we are people of faith, as we take our last breath, we can leave knowing we are going to be free.
I was able to share with Alan's older brother how Florence used to talk with me about her first child, the little girl she carried full-term, but was stillborn. I told him that she is not only with their dad now, but also with her daughter, and that she used to talk with me about that little girl. (She subsequently birthed four healthy sons.) Well Jim seemed genuinely pleased to hear that story, as the subject of the stillborn sister was never talked about except privately by their father to them when they were young children. He told the boys that the whole thing was just too painful for their mother to talk about. So now when the boys were cleaning out her things at the nursing home, they found a small box of pictures, including some of the little girl. I told Jim that I thought she felt at peace after talking about her daughter. He was pleased to hear this story.
The parish provided an excellent meal after the services. Alan invited me to sit with him, and Ray and a couple of other of Alan's friends joined the table. We talked about Flossie a little, then moved on to his girls' basketball team and the upcoming soccer season. He is going to miss all this when he retires, but I think Ray will "put him to work" at QND when he moves back here. We also talked Vegas and discovered we are going to be out there at the same time in June, staying just a block away from each other. So Mario and I will surely get together and have some fun with our friend Alan in Vegas.
Home for an afternoon to rest up for the last detail of the day...."ladies night out." That is what they called it, and Carrie and I went for a couple of hours and got a bagful of coupons and goodies, as well as some good food. We sampled everything....that is how I consumed the 5,000 plus calories. Some really good stuff there. We both bought a can of carpet spot remover! Now is that practical or what??? Sample all the great food but buy spot remover.
I watched IDOL when I got home and was sad for Alaina. Really sad. I am looking forward to next week. And things can only get better when they can SING BEATLES SONGS! YES!
I had the follow-up mammogram yesterday morning at 8 AM. I went with no expectations; my mind was focused on the upcoming funeral services of Alan's mom. But this appt. had been on the calendar since my surgery, so I figured I should just go and get it over with. Well, on the first series, there it was again...or so I thought. "What is that?" I asked the technician. "I don't know," was her reply. "But I will take this to the radiologist right now and we'll find out." My heart sank a bit, as what I saw on the screen looked identical to what I saw back in August. A white spot, about a half -inch in diameter, was looking right at me. So I went back to the dressing room to wait. I am asking myself many questions. Is this a new one? Did they miss this one the first time? About 15 minutes later, the tech returned and apologized for what we were about to do. She took me back to the mammography room and got a special plastic object out of the cabinet. "We are going to compress the area, and take a closer look," she said, again apologizing, because she knew what this was going to do to me. The machine came down right on top of my scar, where I have just finished The Boost (radiation right on the scar) 2 days ago, and the area is red-hot. Well I will not go into detail here about it, just to say that the radiologist took a close look at the compression mammogram shots and decided there is nothing to be concerned about at this time. She made the call on my first digital mammogram in August, so I trust her. But I may have to talk to her again about this. I will be having mammograms every six months from now on to watch things. What I came away with from this experience yesterday morning is the realization that even though I want to be through with this, it is always going to be part of my life. I am in a high-percentage recovery group, but Dr. Ali's words are to be remembered also..."There are no guarantees." I remain standing in the light and hopeful.
So off to the funeral home I go. The Knepler boys are saying goodbye to their mom. I stand in the back, waiting for an opportunity to say hello to my friend Alan. We have a quick hug and exchange, then we are off to church. Here I am in the old Cadillac, bringing up the rear of a short procession for Flossie's last ride. The tears are streaming down because the pain is intense. But I pull myself together for the Mass of Resurrection. Fr. Mike Kuse does a beautiful job in these situations. It really is his gift. Too bad all the other stuff comes with being a priest. He reminds us that since we are people of faith, as we take our last breath, we can leave knowing we are going to be free.
I was able to share with Alan's older brother how Florence used to talk with me about her first child, the little girl she carried full-term, but was stillborn. I told him that she is not only with their dad now, but also with her daughter, and that she used to talk with me about that little girl. (She subsequently birthed four healthy sons.) Well Jim seemed genuinely pleased to hear that story, as the subject of the stillborn sister was never talked about except privately by their father to them when they were young children. He told the boys that the whole thing was just too painful for their mother to talk about. So now when the boys were cleaning out her things at the nursing home, they found a small box of pictures, including some of the little girl. I told Jim that I thought she felt at peace after talking about her daughter. He was pleased to hear this story.
The parish provided an excellent meal after the services. Alan invited me to sit with him, and Ray and a couple of other of Alan's friends joined the table. We talked about Flossie a little, then moved on to his girls' basketball team and the upcoming soccer season. He is going to miss all this when he retires, but I think Ray will "put him to work" at QND when he moves back here. We also talked Vegas and discovered we are going to be out there at the same time in June, staying just a block away from each other. So Mario and I will surely get together and have some fun with our friend Alan in Vegas.
Home for an afternoon to rest up for the last detail of the day...."ladies night out." That is what they called it, and Carrie and I went for a couple of hours and got a bagful of coupons and goodies, as well as some good food. We sampled everything....that is how I consumed the 5,000 plus calories. Some really good stuff there. We both bought a can of carpet spot remover! Now is that practical or what??? Sample all the great food but buy spot remover.
I watched IDOL when I got home and was sad for Alaina. Really sad. I am looking forward to next week. And things can only get better when they can SING BEATLES SONGS! YES!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Celebration Cake and Shopping at Millie's
I had no idea at the beginning of the day yesterday the nice things in store for me...
I went to Bible study, and on the way downstairs to the class, my friend Jan Faler handed me a birthday card. It is late, and that's ok. Jan likes to do things that way, and it spreads the fun out a little longer. Well, when I got to my classroom, I was engrossed in reading the card and her message. I didn't realize the group of about a dozen ladies was kinda waiting for me to take note of the surprise....to celebrate the end of my treatment, Theresa, our leader, began passing around wonderful little individual frosted cakes with roses on top from our fantastic Underbrink's bakery. As we ate cake, I told them a couple of funny stories about the ordeal. When you do the Bible study, you end up having a pretty good bond with the gals in your group. It is amazing how much "real life" stuff is in Genesis, the book we are studying this year. We are having a good discussion each week and learning so much. And sometimes we laugh. A lot.
AFTER class, my usual routine is to join the Faler girls (Jan, Laura, and Kendall, also in the Bible study) and sometimes Lawson and Thom too, for lunch at Kelly's. It was a thoughtful time yesterday, as Thom's mom Millie just passed a couple of weeks ago after a lengthy battle with ovarian cancer. Here is the kind of person Millie is....I saw her at a soccer game years ago, and she was wearing a beautiful JESUS pin. I told her how much I liked her pin, and she took it off and pinned it on me. I never met Millie when she was in a bad mood. Always kind and good. She donated her body to science and requested no services. That has been a little hard on her children I think. Perhaps when they receive her ashes back, they will have a gathering to celebrate her life. Well, anyway, Thom and Kendall were talking about the challenge of cleaning out her apartment at the Senior Center. Thom told me she had lots and lots of clothes, and he was not sure what he was going to do with all of them. The Faler gals are small and maybe a little medium. Millie's clothes are mostly extra large. Well, when Thom found out I am wearing that size, as are a couple of my sisters, he invited me to go back to the apartment with them after lunch.
When I walked in, a few minutes after the rest of the family, I had to take a moment....here is a beautiful lady's life, all spread out, waiting to be moved on. I eventually joined the Faler gals in a bedroom and watched as they were trying on some nice sweaters and jackets. Soon Thom takes my hand and leads me to Millie's bedroom. He points me to a large closet and tells me to take out whatever I or my sisters can use. I am not sure about this. I think her family should take the clothes. But Thom wants me to do this, so I begin looking. And I am amazed to find some jackets and shirts that are like new, just need dusting off, and many of them are my size! And my taste too. I love fun clothes, and so did Millie. I spend about 2 hours there, and I end up with a big pile of things that will work for me or my sisters. Next Thom starts pulling her shoes out of the shoe closet. Many are new. He reports that actually, his mom preferred going barefooted! Can we relate??? The shoes are not my size, too small, but I call Mom and find out that we do have some size 8 gals in the family. So I gather a few boxes of those after Thom's prompting. I hope they will work for somebody. If not, I will bring them back.
So I have a few clothes for myself and possibly Mary Stella??? and some size 8 shoes that I will bring over this weekend.
After that, I went with Mario to the funeral home for Florence Knepler's visitation. Alan is ok. He said the funeral home did such a wonderful job with his mother; he said she looked the best he had seen her look in several years. She was resting in an orchid dress that was simply beautiful. After almost 97 years, she has her reward. God bless you, Flossie.
Next came the trip to Bergners with Mario to pick up his new suits. Yes suits. He bought two of them. Thanks to his birthday money and the translating job, he has enjoyed shopping for new suits and some very nice shirts and ties too. He didn't have any suits that were really for spring and summer, so now he has two of them.
I collapsed into bed at 5:00 and couldn't do much more during IDOL than think, "That was another uninspiring, unexiting performance." But now I guess it wasn't just me thinking that way. There are some girls with talent here, but I didn't think any of them shined last night. So I replayed "Imagine" from the night before, and I had a great night of sleep.
This morning Millie has been around here a bit as I have been trying on her clothes. She knows I like fun clothes, and I will wear them with the best spirit possible. I promise, Millie.
I went to Bible study, and on the way downstairs to the class, my friend Jan Faler handed me a birthday card. It is late, and that's ok. Jan likes to do things that way, and it spreads the fun out a little longer. Well, when I got to my classroom, I was engrossed in reading the card and her message. I didn't realize the group of about a dozen ladies was kinda waiting for me to take note of the surprise....to celebrate the end of my treatment, Theresa, our leader, began passing around wonderful little individual frosted cakes with roses on top from our fantastic Underbrink's bakery. As we ate cake, I told them a couple of funny stories about the ordeal. When you do the Bible study, you end up having a pretty good bond with the gals in your group. It is amazing how much "real life" stuff is in Genesis, the book we are studying this year. We are having a good discussion each week and learning so much. And sometimes we laugh. A lot.
AFTER class, my usual routine is to join the Faler girls (Jan, Laura, and Kendall, also in the Bible study) and sometimes Lawson and Thom too, for lunch at Kelly's. It was a thoughtful time yesterday, as Thom's mom Millie just passed a couple of weeks ago after a lengthy battle with ovarian cancer. Here is the kind of person Millie is....I saw her at a soccer game years ago, and she was wearing a beautiful JESUS pin. I told her how much I liked her pin, and she took it off and pinned it on me. I never met Millie when she was in a bad mood. Always kind and good. She donated her body to science and requested no services. That has been a little hard on her children I think. Perhaps when they receive her ashes back, they will have a gathering to celebrate her life. Well, anyway, Thom and Kendall were talking about the challenge of cleaning out her apartment at the Senior Center. Thom told me she had lots and lots of clothes, and he was not sure what he was going to do with all of them. The Faler gals are small and maybe a little medium. Millie's clothes are mostly extra large. Well, when Thom found out I am wearing that size, as are a couple of my sisters, he invited me to go back to the apartment with them after lunch.
When I walked in, a few minutes after the rest of the family, I had to take a moment....here is a beautiful lady's life, all spread out, waiting to be moved on. I eventually joined the Faler gals in a bedroom and watched as they were trying on some nice sweaters and jackets. Soon Thom takes my hand and leads me to Millie's bedroom. He points me to a large closet and tells me to take out whatever I or my sisters can use. I am not sure about this. I think her family should take the clothes. But Thom wants me to do this, so I begin looking. And I am amazed to find some jackets and shirts that are like new, just need dusting off, and many of them are my size! And my taste too. I love fun clothes, and so did Millie. I spend about 2 hours there, and I end up with a big pile of things that will work for me or my sisters. Next Thom starts pulling her shoes out of the shoe closet. Many are new. He reports that actually, his mom preferred going barefooted! Can we relate??? The shoes are not my size, too small, but I call Mom and find out that we do have some size 8 gals in the family. So I gather a few boxes of those after Thom's prompting. I hope they will work for somebody. If not, I will bring them back.
So I have a few clothes for myself and possibly Mary Stella??? and some size 8 shoes that I will bring over this weekend.
After that, I went with Mario to the funeral home for Florence Knepler's visitation. Alan is ok. He said the funeral home did such a wonderful job with his mother; he said she looked the best he had seen her look in several years. She was resting in an orchid dress that was simply beautiful. After almost 97 years, she has her reward. God bless you, Flossie.
Next came the trip to Bergners with Mario to pick up his new suits. Yes suits. He bought two of them. Thanks to his birthday money and the translating job, he has enjoyed shopping for new suits and some very nice shirts and ties too. He didn't have any suits that were really for spring and summer, so now he has two of them.
I collapsed into bed at 5:00 and couldn't do much more during IDOL than think, "That was another uninspiring, unexiting performance." But now I guess it wasn't just me thinking that way. There are some girls with talent here, but I didn't think any of them shined last night. So I replayed "Imagine" from the night before, and I had a great night of sleep.
This morning Millie has been around here a bit as I have been trying on her clothes. She knows I like fun clothes, and I will wear them with the best spirit possible. I promise, Millie.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
YIPPEE!
YIPPEE! That is a great word to use in Lent when you can't say Alleluia! After 7 months of surgery, chemo, and radiation, I am standing in the light, hopeful, and moving on! I still have follow-up dr. appts. I think those will go on forever with the oncologist. But for now, I will just say it again....YIPPEE! Thanks for that word MB. It perfectly describes how I feel. Like I just made it to the top of the hill, and now I am coasting downhill, not too fast, a nice gentle speed, YIPPEE!
In my joy, I also remember today that Rick is undergoing another surgery to try to fix his ankle. And our friend Alan is with his family getting ready to bury his mother. Suzie Longo is recuperating from surgery for recurring cancer. Theresa's young patient is facing a long battle too. So many thoughts and prayers are lifting all of them today.
Well what can you say about young David A. on Idol? God gave it to him, and he is using it beautifully and joyfully. He has a great future in the recording/entertaining field. So do a few others. David H. came out strong last night too. He was on my orginal list of 6 from Hollywood week. But then again so was my gal Joann. I missed Ramiele....don't even remember her, but I will be anxious to see her tonight. She got the top girl spot for me last week. Lots of those girls are very talented. But they all must already know the power of David A. as an entertainer.
In my joy, I also remember today that Rick is undergoing another surgery to try to fix his ankle. And our friend Alan is with his family getting ready to bury his mother. Suzie Longo is recuperating from surgery for recurring cancer. Theresa's young patient is facing a long battle too. So many thoughts and prayers are lifting all of them today.
Well what can you say about young David A. on Idol? God gave it to him, and he is using it beautifully and joyfully. He has a great future in the recording/entertaining field. So do a few others. David H. came out strong last night too. He was on my orginal list of 6 from Hollywood week. But then again so was my gal Joann. I missed Ramiele....don't even remember her, but I will be anxious to see her tonight. She got the top girl spot for me last week. Lots of those girls are very talented. But they all must already know the power of David A. as an entertainer.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Both a Happy and a Sad day....
I am happy to be at the end of my treatments today. And I am sad for my friend Al whose mom died yesterday. I think he knew it was coming, as he was here over the weekend, summoned by the nursing home because she was not doing well. So I think he is now probably back in Quincy to arrange her funeral. For a few years, I was her caretaker of sorts. I would take her out 3-4 times a week for lunch, groceries, or whatever she wanted. Then she went downhill physically, and I had to let her go. She went into the nursing home, and lots of the time she didn't know anyone, even her son Al who was so faithful to her. I hope he is ok.
I will have lunch after my final treatment with a couple of colleagues from my working days. So I won't come straight home and collapse from the whole ordeal. I will probably have a nice glass of wine and some laughs instead!
I will have lunch after my final treatment with a couple of colleagues from my working days. So I won't come straight home and collapse from the whole ordeal. I will probably have a nice glass of wine and some laughs instead!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Continuing a slow weekend....
I am reading "The Pact" recommended by a friend. I am about finished. Then on to "A New Earth," Eckhart Tolle's book that is selling now I think about 5 million copies. So I am looking forward to it. Mario has a soccer game at 2; will probably go and watch. And of course, the Academy Awards show tonight--will watch but I don't think I have seen a single movie or main award performance that have been nominated! I like Jon Stewart, so maybe that will make it interesting. I have a blister today. Just one. And not exactly where I expected blistering to show up. Well if I get away with only one blister, I am a lucky girl. It seems to have enough anger in it for about 5 blisters though!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
A slow weekend
It is a slow weekend here, and that is good. Not one thing on the calendar except church tomorrow. And I have 4 meals of chili, hot dogs, maid rites, and desserts in the fridge in the to-go containers, so no cooking today either! Lucky me. Last night Judy had a fantastic meal. I don't usually eat salmon unless it is a salmon patty (fried of course), but she had baked salmon with a stuffing that was very good and good for you too. I fell asleep on the couch at 8:00 while the rest were visiting, so that is the kind of fatigue I have right now. Can't even stay awake while the good story-telling is going on. Nobody tells a story better than Ray. Well, maybe he and Mario are about even on that. So today I will read and rest and eat to-go food! Carrie was working at the chili supper, and I think she gave me 4 of the best desserts. My weakness! I will try to control myself.
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