7 Ways to a Joyous Day by Max Lucado

(from Max Lucado) Try these seven strategies the next time you find yourself trapped in a day that holds more than you think you can bear. You'll be surprised at how freeing they are.

1. Fret Not
Anxiety will ruin your day. And it can be a real confidence-killer. Just assume that everybody likes you. It won't be such a menacing place any more.

2. Forgive Freely
Forgive easily. Don't let anybody else rob you of your joy. Forgiveness is not about saying that what a person did is okay or that they're right. It's about making a decision, a choice to let the hurt and anger go. Forgive someone and discover that the person has virtually no power to hurt you anymore. It frees you to move on and focus on what you really care about: the joy of life.

3. Fear Not
You cannot run from your fears. Fear is a joy-killer. It can make you stressed out, short-tempered, and unhappy. The opposite of fear is trust. I do better when I trust in God who is in control of my life. Place your fear in God's hands, and you will find that you have greater peace each day.

4. Live Passionately
Discover your passion by looking back over your life for those sweet-spot moments where you've had "YES!" experiences. String those together, and you will begin to see new possibilities for your life. Nothing gives the day greater joy than a good wallop of passion that comes from doing something from your soul.

5. Get Over It!
Quit looking for things to bellyache about. Face each day determined to dwell on the positives. Write a list about what you have to look forward to. Try lending an ear to someone in need. Be especially kind to people with whom you have only one encounter--a waiter, a store clerk, etc. You may have only one chance to be kind. When you start living for others, it's pretty hard not to get over whatever's bothering you.

6. Collect Your Blessings
Recognize all that you have, and finding blessings to collect will become easy. The key to a joyous day? Make gratitude your default emotion. Expect good things to happen. Seek people out who can encourage you. Over time you'll find that God's list of blessings is longer than your list of burdens.

7. Color Your World
When something goes wrong, as it inevitably will, practice the previous steps, passionately. (Forgive, don't fret or fear, count your blessings, and most of all, GET OVER IT!) It is never too late for the day to be a joyous one. The world is full of vibrant color. Don't let it lose an ounce of its luster. Assume this day is going to be good, and it will. God made it so.

Work hard, and finish the race strong!

(From Guideposts December '07)

A Day of Remembering, an Evening of Feasting

Yesterday I must have eaten at least 5,000 calories. Well every once in awhile I think it is ok to do that.

I had the follow-up mammogram yesterday morning at 8 AM. I went with no expectations; my mind was focused on the upcoming funeral services of Alan's mom. But this appt. had been on the calendar since my surgery, so I figured I should just go and get it over with. Well, on the first series, there it was again...or so I thought. "What is that?" I asked the technician. "I don't know," was her reply. "But I will take this to the radiologist right now and we'll find out." My heart sank a bit, as what I saw on the screen looked identical to what I saw back in August. A white spot, about a half -inch in diameter, was looking right at me. So I went back to the dressing room to wait. I am asking myself many questions. Is this a new one? Did they miss this one the first time? About 15 minutes later, the tech returned and apologized for what we were about to do. She took me back to the mammography room and got a special plastic object out of the cabinet. "We are going to compress the area, and take a closer look," she said, again apologizing, because she knew what this was going to do to me. The machine came down right on top of my scar, where I have just finished The Boost (radiation right on the scar) 2 days ago, and the area is red-hot. Well I will not go into detail here about it, just to say that the radiologist took a close look at the compression mammogram shots and decided there is nothing to be concerned about at this time. She made the call on my first digital mammogram in August, so I trust her. But I may have to talk to her again about this. I will be having mammograms every six months from now on to watch things. What I came away with from this experience yesterday morning is the realization that even though I want to be through with this, it is always going to be part of my life. I am in a high-percentage recovery group, but Dr. Ali's words are to be remembered also..."There are no guarantees." I remain standing in the light and hopeful.

So off to the funeral home I go. The Knepler boys are saying goodbye to their mom. I stand in the back, waiting for an opportunity to say hello to my friend Alan. We have a quick hug and exchange, then we are off to church. Here I am in the old Cadillac, bringing up the rear of a short procession for Flossie's last ride. The tears are streaming down because the pain is intense. But I pull myself together for the Mass of Resurrection. Fr. Mike Kuse does a beautiful job in these situations. It really is his gift. Too bad all the other stuff comes with being a priest. He reminds us that since we are people of faith, as we take our last breath, we can leave knowing we are going to be free.

I was able to share with Alan's older brother how Florence used to talk with me about her first child, the little girl she carried full-term, but was stillborn. I told him that she is not only with their dad now, but also with her daughter, and that she used to talk with me about that little girl. (She subsequently birthed four healthy sons.) Well Jim seemed genuinely pleased to hear that story, as the subject of the stillborn sister was never talked about except privately by their father to them when they were young children. He told the boys that the whole thing was just too painful for their mother to talk about. So now when the boys were cleaning out her things at the nursing home, they found a small box of pictures, including some of the little girl. I told Jim that I thought she felt at peace after talking about her daughter. He was pleased to hear this story.

The parish provided an excellent meal after the services. Alan invited me to sit with him, and Ray and a couple of other of Alan's friends joined the table. We talked about Flossie a little, then moved on to his girls' basketball team and the upcoming soccer season. He is going to miss all this when he retires, but I think Ray will "put him to work" at QND when he moves back here. We also talked Vegas and discovered we are going to be out there at the same time in June, staying just a block away from each other. So Mario and I will surely get together and have some fun with our friend Alan in Vegas.

Home for an afternoon to rest up for the last detail of the day...."ladies night out." That is what they called it, and Carrie and I went for a couple of hours and got a bagful of coupons and goodies, as well as some good food. We sampled everything....that is how I consumed the 5,000 plus calories. Some really good stuff there. We both bought a can of carpet spot remover! Now is that practical or what??? Sample all the great food but buy spot remover.

I watched IDOL when I got home and was sad for Alaina. Really sad. I am looking forward to next week. And things can only get better when they can SING BEATLES SONGS! YES!

Celebration Cake and Shopping at Millie's

I had no idea at the beginning of the day yesterday the nice things in store for me...

I went to Bible study, and on the way downstairs to the class, my friend Jan Faler handed me a birthday card. It is late, and that's ok. Jan likes to do things that way, and it spreads the fun out a little longer. Well, when I got to my classroom, I was engrossed in reading the card and her message. I didn't realize the group of about a dozen ladies was kinda waiting for me to take note of the surprise....to celebrate the end of my treatment, Theresa, our leader, began passing around wonderful little individual frosted cakes with roses on top from our fantastic Underbrink's bakery. As we ate cake, I told them a couple of funny stories about the ordeal. When you do the Bible study, you end up having a pretty good bond with the gals in your group. It is amazing how much "real life" stuff is in Genesis, the book we are studying this year. We are having a good discussion each week and learning so much. And sometimes we laugh. A lot.

AFTER class, my usual routine is to join the Faler girls (Jan, Laura, and Kendall, also in the Bible study) and sometimes Lawson and Thom too, for lunch at Kelly's. It was a thoughtful time yesterday, as Thom's mom Millie just passed a couple of weeks ago after a lengthy battle with ovarian cancer. Here is the kind of person Millie is....I saw her at a soccer game years ago, and she was wearing a beautiful JESUS pin. I told her how much I liked her pin, and she took it off and pinned it on me. I never met Millie when she was in a bad mood. Always kind and good. She donated her body to science and requested no services. That has been a little hard on her children I think. Perhaps when they receive her ashes back, they will have a gathering to celebrate her life. Well, anyway, Thom and Kendall were talking about the challenge of cleaning out her apartment at the Senior Center. Thom told me she had lots and lots of clothes, and he was not sure what he was going to do with all of them. The Faler gals are small and maybe a little medium. Millie's clothes are mostly extra large. Well, when Thom found out I am wearing that size, as are a couple of my sisters, he invited me to go back to the apartment with them after lunch.

When I walked in, a few minutes after the rest of the family, I had to take a moment....here is a beautiful lady's life, all spread out, waiting to be moved on. I eventually joined the Faler gals in a bedroom and watched as they were trying on some nice sweaters and jackets. Soon Thom takes my hand and leads me to Millie's bedroom. He points me to a large closet and tells me to take out whatever I or my sisters can use. I am not sure about this. I think her family should take the clothes. But Thom wants me to do this, so I begin looking. And I am amazed to find some jackets and shirts that are like new, just need dusting off, and many of them are my size! And my taste too. I love fun clothes, and so did Millie. I spend about 2 hours there, and I end up with a big pile of things that will work for me or my sisters. Next Thom starts pulling her shoes out of the shoe closet. Many are new. He reports that actually, his mom preferred going barefooted! Can we relate??? The shoes are not my size, too small, but I call Mom and find out that we do have some size 8 gals in the family. So I gather a few boxes of those after Thom's prompting. I hope they will work for somebody. If not, I will bring them back.

So I have a few clothes for myself and possibly Mary Stella??? and some size 8 shoes that I will bring over this weekend.

After that, I went with Mario to the funeral home for Florence Knepler's visitation. Alan is ok. He said the funeral home did such a wonderful job with his mother; he said she looked the best he had seen her look in several years. She was resting in an orchid dress that was simply beautiful. After almost 97 years, she has her reward. God bless you, Flossie.

Next came the trip to Bergners with Mario to pick up his new suits. Yes suits. He bought two of them. Thanks to his birthday money and the translating job, he has enjoyed shopping for new suits and some very nice shirts and ties too. He didn't have any suits that were really for spring and summer, so now he has two of them.

I collapsed into bed at 5:00 and couldn't do much more during IDOL than think, "That was another uninspiring, unexiting performance." But now I guess it wasn't just me thinking that way. There are some girls with talent here, but I didn't think any of them shined last night. So I replayed "Imagine" from the night before, and I had a great night of sleep.

This morning Millie has been around here a bit as I have been trying on her clothes. She knows I like fun clothes, and I will wear them with the best spirit possible. I promise, Millie.

YIPPEE!

YIPPEE! That is a great word to use in Lent when you can't say Alleluia! After 7 months of surgery, chemo, and radiation, I am standing in the light, hopeful, and moving on! I still have follow-up dr. appts. I think those will go on forever with the oncologist. But for now, I will just say it again....YIPPEE! Thanks for that word MB. It perfectly describes how I feel. Like I just made it to the top of the hill, and now I am coasting downhill, not too fast, a nice gentle speed, YIPPEE!

In my joy, I also remember today that Rick is undergoing another surgery to try to fix his ankle. And our friend Alan is with his family getting ready to bury his mother. Suzie Longo is recuperating from surgery for recurring cancer. Theresa's young patient is facing a long battle too. So many thoughts and prayers are lifting all of them today.

Well what can you say about young David A. on Idol? God gave it to him, and he is using it beautifully and joyfully. He has a great future in the recording/entertaining field. So do a few others. David H. came out strong last night too. He was on my orginal list of 6 from Hollywood week. But then again so was my gal Joann. I missed Ramiele....don't even remember her, but I will be anxious to see her tonight. She got the top girl spot for me last week. Lots of those girls are very talented. But they all must already know the power of David A. as an entertainer.

Both a Happy and a Sad day....

I am happy to be at the end of my treatments today. And I am sad for my friend Al whose mom died yesterday. I think he knew it was coming, as he was here over the weekend, summoned by the nursing home because she was not doing well. So I think he is now probably back in Quincy to arrange her funeral. For a few years, I was her caretaker of sorts. I would take her out 3-4 times a week for lunch, groceries, or whatever she wanted. Then she went downhill physically, and I had to let her go. She went into the nursing home, and lots of the time she didn't know anyone, even her son Al who was so faithful to her. I hope he is ok.

I will have lunch after my final treatment with a couple of colleagues from my working days. So I won't come straight home and collapse from the whole ordeal. I will probably have a nice glass of wine and some laughs instead!

Continuing a slow weekend....

I am reading "The Pact" recommended by a friend. I am about finished. Then on to "A New Earth," Eckhart Tolle's book that is selling now I think about 5 million copies. So I am looking forward to it. Mario has a soccer game at 2; will probably go and watch. And of course, the Academy Awards show tonight--will watch but I don't think I have seen a single movie or main award performance that have been nominated! I like Jon Stewart, so maybe that will make it interesting. I have a blister today. Just one. And not exactly where I expected blistering to show up. Well if I get away with only one blister, I am a lucky girl. It seems to have enough anger in it for about 5 blisters though!

A slow weekend

It is a slow weekend here, and that is good. Not one thing on the calendar except church tomorrow. And I have 4 meals of chili, hot dogs, maid rites, and desserts in the fridge in the to-go containers, so no cooking today either! Lucky me. Last night Judy had a fantastic meal. I don't usually eat salmon unless it is a salmon patty (fried of course), but she had baked salmon with a stuffing that was very good and good for you too. I fell asleep on the couch at 8:00 while the rest were visiting, so that is the kind of fatigue I have right now. Can't even stay awake while the good story-telling is going on. Nobody tells a story better than Ray. Well, maybe he and Mario are about even on that. So today I will read and rest and eat to-go food! Carrie was working at the chili supper, and I think she gave me 4 of the best desserts. My weakness! I will try to control myself.

Happy Birthday Mario!

OK, another birthday....last one 'til May. Mario will take his birthday money and buy a new suit.

I found a great quote in a magazine while waiting at the radiation center yesterday....from Dolly Parton, as quoted in the March issue of Ladies Home Journal...."Every day I pray that God brings the right people in, and takes the wrong out." Now that about says it all, doesn't it?

News from Chris....we saw a growing Makenna on the web cam last night. She did a little talk-whine-cry for us that made us smile. Anyway, seems Chris is considering a 10-day trip in April with some of the military top brass, I think I am telling this right....he was nominated by the commander of the base near Yuma, and then chosen as one of 60 businesspeople from around the country to go to Washington, meet with Cherthoff and Rice (that's Condoleeza, not Jerry), travel to various military operations around the world, and gain first-hand knowledge of what our military is trying to accomplish. The end result is that these business folks would return to their communities and share information in ways that could support the military and create understanding. Well it is a great opportunity for him. Will see if he can work it out to be away from job and family to do it.

Today I am looking forward to Blake's soccer team-sponsored chili supper. (I bought 4 tickets to support the cause, so I am taking to-go containers!) Then we are moving on to our real dinner with Ray and Judy and Alan Knepler, who is in town from Chicago. Judy almost always does the cooking, and for that I am grateful. Al is gearing up for retirement sometime in the not-too- distant future. We will probably be seeing a lot more of him, because he plans to move back to Quincy when he retires. Mrs. Knepler is still going at the nursing home; I think she is 96.

I am off to radiation....down to the last 3 now. Hope God brings just the right people into your life today:)

Correction....

30 down, 3 to go. Today's "direct hit" radiation lasted only a few seconds, not 2 minutes. I am thinking that maybe it was only 15-20 seconds. I was settling in for a 2-minute rest, and suddenly, it was over! So an easy day today. All is well.

Need any more clues?

OK, I did give out the answer to my trivia question on Tuesday, but it just occurred to me that some who read the blog may not have it yet. Do you need another clue??? How about this one: Bobby and Cissy. John Wills used to refer to some of the colorful dancers on the various Vegas floors as Bobby and Cissy. So now you got it. "Keep a song in your heart" was the weekly sign-off of Lawrence Welk.

I Like the Idol Girls....

Well I really sat myself down and concentrated last night on the girls during Idol. I like all of them and will be sad to see anyone go home. But that's life. Up in April and down in May. Like the old Frank Sinatra tune says.

29 down, 4 to go. 8 minutes of direct hits left. My poor baby boobie. I hope she bounces back.

Tonight we are celebrating Mario's 58th birthday, two days later because of activities on Tuesday. I have already made the birthday brownies covered with marshmallow cream and drizzled with chocolate frosting, a new concoction I hope everybody likes. We are a little overdosed on cake around here for some reason:) We will order Blake's favorite pizza: meatlovers from Papa Murphy.

Taylor and I are having lunch today after radiation. She is fun and we laugh a lot. She is a nurse, and she just got a job doing what Mary Stella does, including nursing care. She loves it. Must be rewarding taking care of these people.

A quote on my mind this morning from The Purpose Driven Life: There is no small SERVICE to God; it all matters. As Mario and I scramble almost every day after he gets home from QND to translate the needs of the Hispanic ISD kids to their non-English speaking parents, and the responses in English back to various ISD personnel, (his part-time job since August, and I help), I often think of this quote. We are here to serve. It is that simple. Happy Day everyone.

Idolmania has struck! Mario is amused and showing a little interest....

Well I have a prediction about the fellas.....David will charm his way to the end. He is good. AS the saying goes, "he's got it." Close behind, Daydream, Light My Fire, and Robbie, who is still finding his place as a rocker. Anxious to see the girls tonight. Luke is best looking to me. Hope he can pick it up with the song choice and show his whole self.

Today I had my first "Boost" radiation. The machine is pressed right on my scar for 2 minutes. It is a direct hit! I had to be still with my arm over my head for about 15 minutes while they posted all the numbers in the computer. UGH. It is hard to be in such an unnatural position and totally still for that long. At least it is for me. I kept singing the song in my head, "Be still and know that I am God"....that helped. Tomorrow should be easier since the numbers are all punched in. I got 2 little tattoos yesterday to have a permanent record of where I received the radiation. I'm not really sure why, because they told me I can never have radiation on this site again; my body couldn't take it. So why they need or I need these permanent record tattoos, I don't know. I have 4 direct hits left. Will be done on Tuesday.

Just talked with Chris. Makenna is adjusting well to her new day digs....he and Maria stopped by and had lunch with her today, and they are happy with the place. Relieved, I'm sure, that they have found good care for her. And Maria is enjoying being back to work.

Fatigue is my biggest challenge right now. It will all be over in about 2-3 weeks. Yeh! Naptime.

Another clue for trivia question...

a 1 ana 2 ana....

A Clue for "Keep a Song in your Heart"

For those trying to figure out who said, "Keep a song in your heart," I am giving you a clue. The person who said it had a weekly musical television show.

DO NOT BE AFRAID--I AM WITH YOU!

My Trusting Snow Friends.....!

Sometimes I just can't believe how God works in my life. I have struggled some recently with fear. And this morning, as I was studying Genesis for my Bible study lesson, one of the scriptures a question sent me to is Isaiah 41:10. It says, "Do not be afraid--I am with you! I am your God--let nothing cause you fear. I will make you strong and help you; I will protect you and save you." Well I have read this before and heard it before, but I must have forgotten it!!! A few questions later, I was sent to Psalm 56:3, which says, "When I am afraid, O Lord Almighty, I put my trust in you." So this morning, after awakening at 5 AM after a fairly restful sleep, I turned to the Bible and found great comfort. I am so grateful for this Bible study. I have learned and relearned and explored and re-explored much that is good for me. My wish would be that everyone could make time to do this. The rewards are great! Too numerous to mention. I am so fortunate. And grateful.

Yesterday was a good day off for Mario. He piddled all day downstairs with his lesson plans, papers, etc. A day every now and then to organize is so good for him. So I was off with my shots and treatment, then lunch with a new friend from church named Martha. She is the pastoral associate/assistant, I can't remember which, and she is now studying for a masters degree in Theology at Quincy University. Previously she was in the corportate world as a marketing director for Harris Broadcast Electronics Corp. I think that's right. Well anyway, she gave that job the boot after a lengthy career and an awesome spiritual awakening. We got to know each other through activities at church. We have fun together and some great conversations. And we share Pope Pius XI's belief that "there are many paths to God." (Did you know he was asked if Muslims could go to heaven, and that was his answer?)

After a restful couple of hours in my comfy bed, I rousted myself out to go see Blake play soccer. He got the goal that tied the game against older players right at the end of the game, so that was excitement that made getting back out on the cold, blustery day worthwhile! Mario and I enjoy watching his team play; we will now decide which of his traveling tournaments we will go to in April and May. (Choices: Cedar Rapids, Peoria, and Kansas City) Will likely go to one and stay back and keep the girls for the other two so Carrie and Tony only have to get one hotel room.

Last night we web-cammed it with Chris, Maria, and Makenna. Chris played Mr. Mom yesterday, as he was off, and Maria returned to work. Today Makenna goes to Day Care. They are happy with their choice after looking at everything that is available in Yuma. Peace of mind is so important; I can remember that dilemma all these years later....finding a place that has the right values and care for your child while you are serving others means everything.

Today is Mario's (legal) 58th birthday. I made a big plate of brownies to take over to the faculty room during his lunch hour. If I know him, he will take them up to his room and share them with the students. We will do our family birthday party Thursday, as he plays two soccer games tonight.

27 down, 6 to go. "The Boost" begins tomorrow.

Counting Down.....

Well everyone--I know you are probably tired of hearing about this darn countdown! But about 6 months of my life have been given over to this, so counting down the last six days is pretty big for me. Dr. Yu gave the green light today for "The Boost" as they call it, the last five days heavy hitting radiation right on the scar where the tumors came out. Still no blisters, and the creme is keeping the sunburned-looking skin somewhat comfortable. Lucky me at this point.

Cora and Hannah and I baked a big batch of my Southern style chocolate chip cookies while they were here. We ate about 1/3 between all of us here, sent about 1/3 home with them for the other Dedes, and I will take the last 1/3 to Ray and Judy's Friday night. Al Knepler is in town, and we will get together there for a nice lenten dinner of some kind I'm sure. My cookies are a hit with Ray and Al. In fact, Al almost expects a container to take back on the train to Chicago. In another year or so, he will retire and move back to Quincy. He plans to buy a condo. I am sure we will be seeing a lot of him when he gets back here.

Tonight on Dancing With the Stars, I think they name the new contestants for next year. Better get supper mess cleaned up so I can watch. I am getting to be a TV junkie with the dancing and the singing. Has anyone figured out whose line is "Keep a song in your heart?"

Keep A Song In Your Heart....

OK here is a trivia question for Idolmania night. Who said, "Keep a song in your heart?"
The first one to call me Tuesday night after 7 with the correct answer wins the prize.

Cora and Hannah are spending the night, and this evening we web cammed with the Dedes. We had a blast. Mario got out his Halloween mask, I wore a couple of funky wigs that people gave me during chemo--we just acted like nuts. Fun.

American Idol Early Favs

I watched American Idol this week, both days, and I realize I have not seen everyone perform. but from what I have seen, I like the following so far:
Danny
David A.
David H.
Brooke--like Taylor Swift only more talented I think
Joanne--Mandisalike, but prettier and experienced
Robbie--haven't heard him sing, just like how he looks!

I will keep you posted after next week what I think. There seems to be a lot of talent here.

Arranging Pictures, Mexican No Fish Fish Fry, Peace Within

One of the gifts I received at my birthday party was that photo of the 5 grandkids that it took me awhile to figure out. This week, Carrie delivered the rest of the photos that were taken that afternoon. So I shopped for just the right frames, found them at Hobby Lobby--it is the store that my friend Donna introduced me to--it has all kinds of stuff. I told Carrie that if they ever do this again, what they wear has to coordinate with the red frames! I love pictures.

Last night was Mexican night at our No Fish Fish Fry. The food was really good and plentiful. We took 3 cans of food for the local food pantry at Catholic Charities, so we got $3 off our meal. So for 9 bucks we had all the quesadillas and tacos we wanted. I have never had a potato taco before, and I must tell you, it was very good. There were onions and peppers and other things in it too. The crowd was slightly better this week, several families there, which is what we wanted, but I think a lot of the old folks maybe headed to St. Dominic's for fish. What I am told is they have the deep fryers to prepare their fish on site. At St. Peter's, we don't have that capacity, so we have to order the fish in. And when you do that, it just isn't good. So we are hoping that each week, the word will spread that we have great food and atmosphere on Fridays during Lent at St. Peter's and a few more parishoners and their friends will come. We joined Carrie and Tony, Cora, Hannah, and Nolan for the dinner. Blake is off with his friend Logan skiing in Davenport, IA. He called and told Carrie he has already crashed a couple of times. Well I think this activity is what every 14 year old boy dreams of. Flying downhill with reckless abandon, just hoping you survive when you get to the bottom.

Today I am very rested, fell asleep at 9 last night and woke up with an amazing leg cramp at 6AM. I was moaning, unable to get it to work itself out, so Mario rescued me, just like Kathy used to do when we were kids. I don't know why I get these leg and foot cramps. But anyway, I spent a little time doing my easy exercises, and during that time, the still quiet voice that speaks every now and then gave me a message.....God has a way of infusing a reason or purpose into every path in life. When I spoke yesterday with Lori, I got scared. Today I realize that the measure of contentment is how much peace a person feels within. I have to be so careful right now. When I get that kind of information like Lori game me yesterday, I have to process it with a fearless heart, not a fearful one. I have confidence in my medical care, and I have faith in God. I must also be flexible. Bend with the wind. I'll be fine. Only 7 treatments left. 2 more where I've been, then I move across the hall at the radiation center to another linear accelerator. It has a different energy for the last 5 treatments that will be right on the scar. I have all kinds of lines and circles drawn on me now to mark the spots where the radiation goes in. You have to laugh. And the final assault is that I am shrinking, my right chest that is. Wish they could find a way to shrink my behind and my belly!!!

I still have not figured out how to rotate the photos when moving them to the blog. They are rotated when I store them, but they don't move to the blog that way. Well, just turn your head. This is the last image I can remember from my great birthday party...still living in the past....with Cora, her little aloof self, gathering up the crepe paper decorations and having some fun along the way. This fits with the current idea: Go make your life better. Cora knows how. I will just watch her!

Mario and I are off to Mexican night at St. Peter's.

Go make your life better....

Hmm. I had my monthly Swedish massage this afternoon. YEAH! Love it!!! When I was leaving, the kind hostess/cashier told me that she has lost/is losing two sisters to cancer in the last month. One was 57, the one still living is 55 and has little time to live. Both received treatment at the same place I have been. This sister named Lori was not pleased that Dr. Ali (my doc) failed to do a PET scan when her (still living) sister was finished with treatment. Her sister had a falling out with Dr. Ali, then switched to Dr. Smith, his buddy in the Cancer Center, and after much insisting from the family, got a PET scan which revealed cancer everywhere. That is the first story I have heard that has not been positive about my doctor/the Cancer Center. Seems Dr. Ali does not do the Pet Scan as part of his routine. So now, I have to think about asking for this PET scan when I am finished with radiation in a few days and I am through except occasional bloodwork. Do I INSIST on a PET Scan? I have pain every single day by about noon, and I struggle with it, but I do all my little tricks to try to cope with it before using the pain meds. The thing is....I wake up in the morning not having this intense pain in my first waking hours. It only comes on after activity and being up and going for a few hours. Well the last thing this sister told me is very wise: Go make your life better. Check. I am a lucky girl.

Old friends....long lunches, longings, JUST BE NICE!

Yesterday I was driving down 12th street after my allergy shot and just before PT. In my heart I could hear an invitation being expressed...."Call your old buddy Dwain Preston and have lunch. Valentine's Day this year might just be a little lonely for him." So I was happy when he answered the phone, and we worked it out to meet after my radiation and his memorial service at the little home-cookin' type restaurant that we now have in Quincy called Nothin Special. Dwain and I co-sponsored the Quincy Notre Dame Student Council before I left QND in 1984. We had so much fun. Dwain was a very good English teacher years before I went back to school to become an English teacher. I learned a lot by watching him. Well, we met and had a fabulous home cooked soup and split a club sandwich. We talked mostly about his family. Sadly, his wife Regina recently passed on in her sleep (from the heart attack she had always predicted--she always said she would go quickly in her sleep, and so she did). Dwain and Gina have 4 grown daughters with 11 grandchildren, but none live in Quincy. Fortunately, he is very close with all of them, and he beams when he talks about their lives and their work and their children. So I had a 2-hour lunch on Valentine's Day with my old buddy Dwain, and listening and speaking with him were my "pay it forward" gifts of the day. I think we will do this again sometime. He is in his 70's now and retired from QND for two years. He waits for the phone to ring, hoping for a sub job for the day. If that doesn't happen, he works on writing projects he has going.

Some of our talk was philosophical. He wanted to know why I thought there are now so many lapses in morality in the teaching profession. So I told him what I thought. Since he is a writer, I wonder at the time if my expressed opinions might show up somehow, somewhere, sometime.

Mario and I topped off the day with Mexican food at our favorite restaurant, Maya, with our friends Joyce and Marty Stevens. We had some laughs, and we shared the photo albums of birthdays and baptisms.

Today I have my 25th radiation, then I get my once-a-month massage. (YEAH) This evening, Mario and I will meet Carrie's gang at church for Mexican night at our No Fish Fish Fry. We are hoping for more attendance.

I am tired, but I am trying very hard not to complain or get in a rut. That is why I keep moving when I can. I am reading some good books, and this morning I found a good quote from a little book Joyce gave me for my birthday. It is from Pope John XXIII, a little book called "A Joyful Soul."

The prayer for peace that rises from the cradle in Bethlehem is a prayer for kindness of heart, for true brotherliness (and sisterliness!), and for a determination to seek sincere cooperation, rejecting all those destructive elements that we call by their true names: pride, greed, hard-heartedness, and selfishness.

I told Dwain yesterday that I still have a sad heart because of the pain that exists in relationships within my extended family. But it has been my goal throughout this cancer treatment to finally let go of any responsibility I have felt for fixing any of this. I am just going to be nice. Just be nice. That is how I feel the best.

Happy Valentines Day!

Two of my valentines.....

Today I passed on walking and exercise of all kinds except the stretches and breathing. I had my 24th radiation treatment, so now I have only 9 to go. I am just ZOOMING along here.

I get to take a turn with the daycare kids at Carrie's tomorrow morning for an hour while she goes over to Hannah's school for Valentine's Day. Hannah loves it when CArrie can be there, so I do what I can to help. Hopefully, Nolan and his buddies won't want to wrestle. The last time I did this, I just threw balls to the boys the entire time. That worked pretty well.

Happy Valentines Day! You can have all the chocolates you want.

Wrestling at Grandma's House

Home stretch....

23 down, 10 to go. Dr. Yu says everyone counts down at this point. There is intermittent stabbing pain, major fatigue, sunburned look, all normal, and I am gobbing on the cream they gave me several times a day to try to ward off the blisters down the road. Some don't get them. Could I be one of the lucky ones?

The enjoyment of the day came from watching Bailey try on prom dresses. We have a nice shop here, and I love the dresses both girls have chosen.

Weekend fun (2)

PSYCHO CHEF TONY??? I was so fatigued after making lasagna, vacuuming, getting ready for mass, and playing guitar at mass, that I couldn't stand to make the salad for lunch. So master chef Tony pitched in. (Actually we took the knife away from Mario who was making a mess in the kitchen, and Carrie volunteered Tony--seems he does the salad-making at home.) I wish I could figure out how to rotate the photos on the blog. I rotate them when I store them, but they won't transfer that way. So you just hafta rotate your head to look at them!

It is certain....the fatigue that I have heard about with radiation has set in this weekend. I was flattened by it yesterday for several hours. Had a few tears, pain out of control, and sad feelings. But I got over it all after Mario held my hand and took a nap with me, and then I got to see that new baby on the web cam. Well she is not so new any more. Makenna has grown 3 inches and gained 4 lbs. She is now 24" and almost 13 pounds. One of my current little projects is to tell the story of her baptism for her. I am making a little photo album to give her. Someday in the future, I hope she enjoys reading a story of her faith life beginning.

Weekend fun (1)

AFter lunch on Sunday, I got the beans out of the pantry and finally, Nolan can load his truck! He was putting his lasagna in the truck, for which he got another little reprimand from his dad. So I sent him home with a container of beans. He can legally haul the beans at the Dedes. Hopefully, nobody will put one up their nose at the Daycare.

Attention all Grandmas: You gotta get a web cam!!!

Just had our first web cam experience with Chris, Maria, and Makenna. Amazing! We can talk to each other and the full-screen picture is pretty clear. Makenna actually listened to my voice in the first few seconds....maybe thinking "I've heard that voice somewhere before..." So for about $25 you can get one of these cameras on top of your computer and talk to your grandkids (and your kids and their spouses) anytime you want. I'd heard of these web cams before, usually in negative stories about their misuse, and now I know they are made for a good purpose. Mario is gone playing basketball--hope he gets back soon so he can see this when they call us back. They are now on the web cam with Carrie's family. We talked about how on Thursday nights when Carrie's family come over here for supper, we can eat together, well almost....well anyway, the picture was clear and the conversation was clear, and this was just a great thing for me tonight.

Poinsettias in February, or What's Left of Ginny's 2007 Christmas Explosion???

I do not have the grandkids after all. Seems Tony decided to play plumber at his house today and remodel a bathroom. So I postponed plans to make tortellini and started two new books. I watered my mega super uber plant in my living room, the one I absconded with from the chapel a year or so ago when it was dying. Then I focused on the Christmas flowers a few feet away....this room must have the perfect light for plants. I have never had a green thumb, but on the east side of this house, plants thrive! I do believe they also love the music I play too. Well most people would think that's plain nonsense. But these are God's living nature creations, and they can respond with enthusiasm if they like something. WEll, anyway, just wanted to point out that the top one is actually a Presbyterian poinsettia. I go to the Presbyterian church on Wednesday mornings for the interdenominational Bible study. A couple of weeks after Christmas, the pastor came into our group and offered leftover poinsettias to anyone who wanted one, as his parishoners had taken all they wanted. At that time, no such offer was made by the Catholic leadership of St. Peter's. I had made the required $10 offering in the memories of Harold Johnson, Jesus and Maria Camacho, but it wasn't looking like I was going to have the red flowers from St. Pete's. So I got me one of those Presbyterian ones, and would you believe, it is sprouting whole new stems at the bottom. I put it on the little table above the three that I did eventually get from the altar of St. Peter's. The Catholic poinsettias are also very content, losing very few leaves at this point, looking very much like they did when Fr. Dan offered them on a Sunday in mid-January. Otherwise, they were going to the eternal poinsettia garden, he said. AFter everyone had a chance to get theirs, I went back to church late in the evening to find at least 25 remaining. So I grabbed 2 more, and I have an interdenominational poinsettia garden right in my living room just next to my "rescued" mega super uber plant. You may notice the snowlady sitting on the bench. Carrie, Cora, and Hannah brought her to me when I finished chemo back in late Nov. I love her. This corner of my Christmas Explosion may not get put away this year.

Hey I don't know if this stuff is funny, or the least bit interesting, but I just wanted to prove that I can think/write about something besides my grandkids and myself!

Nolan playing doctor....sparse crowd for No Fish Fish Fry, but fun

The day finally came in the daycare. It is inevitable. Kids play doctor, among other things, to get information. Well, after some quick instruction from momma Carrie, Nolan was allowed to listen to Taylor's heart! What can you hear, Nolan?

The first No Fish Fish Fry was fun, probably had 100 or so people there, lots of servers and workers, so that's good. The food was very good; all leftovers can be served at school on Monday would be my guess. Everybody who heard the radio spot liked my little song. But the lady who was the radio announcer yesterday morning was a PE student of mine at QND back in the 70's, and I might add a loud and very overweight one; she said on the radio that she didn't like me as a teacher! After 30 years....she still can't let go of her dislike for her high school PE teacher....poor thing. I just laughed when they told me that. I didn't really like her as a student either. All she did was complain. So now she is on the radio telling the world that she didn't like me. Man, life is not fair sometimes! laugh laugh I do expect the No Fish Fish Fry to grow next week, and the week after. Of course, there were a couple of old people there complaining because we didn't have fish. Well, go to St. Dominic's across town--they have fish. Or McDonald's. Otherwise, it was a good spirit in the place, just not very many takers. We competed with 2 basketball games in town, a spaghetti supper at QHS, and St. Dom's fish fry. But people go where they want to go, and maybe next week, they will go to St. Peter's for Mexican night. OLE!

Today I will begin reading Oprah's book selection. And later today the grandkids are coming so the parents can go to the movies. At some point I am making Mary Beth's tortellini recipe. And I hope we can get the web cam going this evening with Chris and Maria so we can see that baby! We miss her already. Chris mentioned that they would be back in April. Then we will see them in June in Las Vegas. And they will be here in September for Isaac's wedding. So there will be several times to see her.....I don't know why this happens, grandmas all know it, but there is something touching about seeing your grown up little boy with a spit rag hanging out of his back pocket.

Maria, Chris, and Makenna in Yuma after Christmas '07

Singing and Dancing Santas in Quincy (Eddie in the middle)

The Day After Makenna's Baptism at The Cheesecake Factory

Dressed for the Occasion!

Feb. 3, 2008 Makenna's Baptism

Grandma loves this baby!

Singing karioke at my birthday party

Cassie, Step, Bailey, Paige, and Kayla

Sam and me.....We look good!

Carson Bowman

I am spending the morning organizing the photo albums, as I realized we have had 4 major events in less than six weeks.....Christmas, travel to Yuma, several birthday parties, and Makenna's baptism. As I look at the calendar, I see nothing major til Easter about 40 days or so ahead. So I will rest....today. I do plan to write the story for Makenna and give her a little photo album with the highlights.

I have 20 chemo treatments down and 13 to go. My breast now looks very sunburned, and I expect that it will get worse before it gets better. As I understand these treatments are literally burning the cells of this part of me, I will have to be patient with the owies that are undoubtedly ahead. The cancer cells cannot withstand the major burn, that is what I am told, while healthy tissue can recover. So I look to the future and still consider myself cancer free until somebody tells me otherwise! I have to look at it that way to keep it all going.

Our church has the first No Fish Fish Fry tonight, then the Stations. I recorded my little jingle yesterday at the radio station to promote it, and another parishoner read the menu. We hope people will come and have a good meal along with some family discussion and Catholic trivia and then head upstairs for the Stations. We'll see if we can get anyone there with this approach. I wrote the family discussion topics yesterday, and I have to write the Catholic trivia questions this morning. We are giving away meals in a drawing for all those who fill out the trivia question sheet.

A story about Nolan.....

Since none of us but Carrie could understand about 90% of what Nolan was saying several weeks back, she got an evaluation for him from a speech pathologist, and he qualified. So the lady has been coming to the house weekly and working with him. The first week, he totally cooperated, and Carrie was very encouraged. The second week, all he would do was growl at her. Not one word, just growling. Things improved considerably after that as I understand it, and by last week, they were "feeding" the cows in his little farm set with beans she brought. They talked as they loaded his dump truck, and the activity was fun and interesting for Nolan.

Well, the next morning, when Nolan was having his rice krispies and milk for breakfast, what do you think he decided to do? He loaded up his dump truck with the soggy cereal to feed his cows. Now Tony was none too pleased with this, so he scolded Nolan and put the truck in a high place, or so he thought, and banished Nolan from the activity. Of course, that does not stop a headstrong Dede, so it didn't take long for Nolan to refill and again attempt to feed the cows. And the next morning, out he comes from the bathroom with his dumptruck loaded with water for the cows. Needless to say, Carrie and the speech pathologist will talk about future interactions involving "feeding" the cows!

Always a good story at the Dede household!

As I have reviewed all the pictures from my 57th birthday celebrations, I have realized how very fortunate I am to have these family and friends. I am so proud that Carrie and Tony and Chris and Maria (and Mario) pulled off the surprise party, and I am so thankful to them for thinking enough of me to do it. And then to everyone else who gave up their Saturday night plans to come....it just means everything to me and helps keep me going. Everyone who came created memories for me that I will treasure as long as I can remember!!!

Now my focus is on Lent and getting closer to God through the requisites we are given by our church: prayer, fasting, and good works. Gotta rest today, then get movin' on these.

I don't look sad in this one....

I guess I put a very sad looking picture from my birthday party on yesterday's blog. So this is to make up for that one!

Welcome to God's Family, Makenna!

I am happy to share this photograph of the Camacho and Ewersmann families proudly surrounding Makenna after her baptism on Sunday, Feb. 3. Yes, she was baptised on Super Bowl Sunday, and that will always be a part of the story of her day. I hope she knows how much she is loved.

Pictures from my surprise birthday party.....

I received a great, late birthday present in the mail yesterday from Jacksonville. These are just a few of the shots from the CD that will help me remember one of the best nights in recent memory. (PS I will post some of the baptism weekend pictures as soon as I can figure out how to get them to the blog!)

Prayer, Fasting, Good Works......

I began the day with Ash Wednesday mass at QND with Mario and 500 or so other people in the gym. Every time I go to mass in that gym I recall my last mass there....I sang the traditional Our Father with a beautiful electric piano accompanist and shocked the heck out of the staff and students who didn't know I could sing. I will never forget that.

We just had a wonderful weekend in St. Louis. We traveled down Saturday and arrived at the Ewersmanns around 1. It was our great fortune to get to take care of Makenna that afternoon at our hotel while Chris and Maria met Carrie's family at the Mid Rivers Mall. To be alone with our newest little granddaughter and get to know her was a joy. I could tell immediately that she gets excited when someone is talking to her, and at 2 months old, she is trying to talk back! I can't remember if that is normal child development, but I predict this one will be talking before she does any of the other great baby milestones.

Saturday evening the Dede gang and us spent with the Ewersmanns for a spaghetti supper at their house. Then there was the ping pong....let's just say the guys all had a great time. Blake brought his buddy Caleb, and Mario and Tony played too. We all crowded into the game room for the action. The girls drew self portraits on the chalkboard on the wall, and Nolan found things to entertain himself too. It was a good family evening.

Sunday Morning....Makenna's day to become a child of God. It is a nice day, around 55 I think, and we are all ahead of schedule arriving at St. Paul's Church in plenty of time. The church is full of the Ewersmann relatives and friends, and momma Rita's brother Fr. Carl Kerkemeyer is the presider. He admits to being nervous, such a gentle and kind soul he is. Well, he gives a beautiful homily on the Beatitudes, probably one of the best I have heard, in his patient, quiet-natured way. Lots of good to absorb from his words. I really try to listen to every single thing he says. His delivery allows that.

Now mass is over and it is time for Makenna to don the white dress. She had come to church in our favorite color for her, well one of them, we like pink too, and you can see in the photos that she still wore her purple socks for awhile.

I do like this church. It reminds me of Sacred Heart in Franklin. Warm and inviting. Fr. Carl begins the rite with the parents, godparents, and little one in the back of church where an anointing takes place.

Next, they gather in the front pew for prayer. Finally, they approach the baptismal font, and all are ready. The proud daddy holds his baby girl over the "waterfall," and the words are clear. She is being welcomed into God's holy family. Godparents help, but the parents receive the formal blessings of the day. It is they who have the tremendous responsibility to show this child how to love.

I applaud quietly. Praise God.

A picture-taking session follows, first the godparents, then the family. The Camachos/Dedes quickly line up surrounding the guest of honor: they know the drill. Several are taking the photo. Then spontaneously the 4 Ewersmanns join the group. Grandma Rita, Grandpa Paul, Uncle Michael, Aunt Laura--they join the gang with big smiles. I love this picture. Family.

We are among the last to leave the church and head down the hill to the yellow building where we will have lunch.

WOW. There is a feast awaiting us! And they are gracious hostesses who serve the food to us. They stand behind the table and spoon the food to us. Plentiful and delicious. Lots of work and consideration went into this. There are probably 75-80 folks here, and lots of warm exchanges are occurring throughout the afternoon. And they have cheesecake from the CHEESECAKE FACTORY. Can you believe it!

We leave around 3 I think, to head back to the hotel and change out of our church clothes, and into our Super Bowl clothes. We are heading to Lake St. Louis to the home of Tom Pollihan, one of Mario's college soccer teammates, for what is sure to be a great reunion. There will be several former QC players and their wives there, guys and gals we went to school with 35 years ago. Yup...our class will have its 35th college reunion this year. My o My.

We arrive second after Bob and Pam Pollihan. Throughout the next hour, several other couples arrive, bringing wonderful food (Can I do this AGAIN in one day???) Incredible home overlooking Lake St. Louis, fun people, great food, exciting game. Just a great evening for all. One of the funniest things though, and my batteries were dead as we left the party...Tom had rigged up his QU letter jacket on a pole extended off the mailbox and pointing toward his house for the party. Those Pollihans were always fun.

Back to the hotel. Sleep well.

Monday morning and St. Louis is so foggy you can't see more than a few feet ahead of you. We are heading to the Ewermanns at around 11 Am, waiting to turn left on a 2-lane highway, and we almost get creamed from behind by a UPS truck, and a dump truck that both had to swerve around us off the shoulder of the road so as not to slam into us from behind. We finally make our left turn and realize that today, God is not calling our names.

We spend the day at Chesterfield Mall with Chris, Maria, and Makenna. Lunch at Cheesecake Factory and a little shopping. I don't usually do this....I wait until I can get a book free at the library...but I bought the book for which Oprah and the author are offering an online study. I like this kind of stuff, and the book was cheap. I have already read some of it, and I like it.

So that was our weekend, and the last two days have mostly been my routine stuff. I am still very tired. But happy tired is not so bad. I will catch up soon I'm sure. It is officially Lent, and I am trying to pray, fast, and think of good works to do to get closer to God. That is what Fr. Kurt talked about this morning at the QND mass. Getting closer to God. That is really what the Lenten season is about.

I have already forgotten how to put photos on the blog. When Tony comes tomorrow, I will ask him again how to do it. My brain is tired too! I think most of you got some photos from the Kodak Gallery. If I didn't send them to you, and you would like to see a few, email me! Love to all.

I have many stories to tell about the baptism weekend and also about Nolan. Just too tired today to write about all of it. I have tried to send some photos and will post some here. Tomorrow! I am exhaused but very happy.

Chris made it to St. Louis

Chris is in St. Louis now. Took the train from Chicago this morning. I am sure he is catching some zzzzzs now, as he said he had only about 2 hours of sleep. But his bags arrived in Chicago with him, so that was something good. So now everyone be safe as you dig out. We had only a couple of inches, and alot of it melted today, as the sun was shining all day here. Lucky us.

More Birthday Party Pictures

Tony's Birthday Party Pictures

We had Carrie's gang for another birthday party last night. Tony liked his birthday brownies, and he also brought a wonderful bread pudding that his mom made him with leftover rolls from my birthday party. It was delicious, and NO CALORIES!

This morning I am getting ready to head south for St. Louis. Thankfully, Chris is almost there from Anaheim, where he has been all week at a conference for work. He got stuck there yesterday, unable to take off for Chicago until late last night because of the snow. He called at 1am to let us know he'd gotten that far and would spend the night with friends Sean McGlothlin and Deke Helkey who live close to the airport. Today he hopes to get a flight to St. Louis. I have heard that it is going to be 50 degrees in St. Louis by Sunday, so that will be great for our family gathering there for the baptism. So I will be away until late Monday evening.

By the way, I am glad I have learned to post pictures; thanks Tony.